Today I read Isaiah 54. God has spoken to me through this chapter lots of times and in different areas of my life. What I remembered today was verses 7-10. "For a brief moment I forsook you, but with with great compassion and mercy I will gather you (to Me) again. In a little burst of wrath I hid My face from you for a moment, but with age-enduring love and kindness I will have compassion and mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer. For this is like the days of Noah to Me; as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I will not be angry with you or rebuke you. For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you."
This is what God spoke to me when I came back to Him after 4 or so years of running from Him. I did wrong things, bad things in His eyes and I ran from Him. But when I decided to follow the tugging on my heart from Him and come back to Him He opened His arms wide open for me. He also spoke verse 4 to me. "Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not (seriously) remember the reproach of your widowhood any more."
He will remove your shame and dishonor so that we won't remember it anymore. I do remember some of the things I've done but I know that God does not. And I know that it is a part of my past the He has cleansed me from. We don't have to be rooted in shame. We can be free from it. This has been a big deal in my life lately. I've been learning to push past these feelings of shame. Claim what God promises us with me and let us walk with Him into freedom! He loves us so much, no matter what we've done.