Tuesday, November 13, 2012

God's Goodness

I know it's been a while since I've last written.  It's been busy and I really haven't been in that moment to write any.  I just wanted to share some stuff that was on my heart.  Two things.  First I have struggled with bad dreams for a long time.  Ever since a really bad relationship a long time ago.  I thought I had forgiven myself and others so I didn't get why I kept having them.  Well, about a week ago it was on my heart a lot.  All day I was thinking about it and praying.  I ended up reading some stuff that I believe God led me too.  It made so much sense.  It talked about not ignoring things in your past, acting like it never happened.  Which I have been doing.  A scripture came to my mind.  Revelation 12:11 "They have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony."
Everything clicked when I thought about that verse!  I've been ignoring my testimony.  I've been so ashamed that I just wanted it to disappear.  I'm not proud of this.  I'm ashamed to even admit that I haven't shared my true testimony.  Yeah, I've shared a short version.  But not close to the real thing.  I talked with my hubby about it and did some forgiving again.  Ever since I've made that decision that I'm willing to share my testimony I have slept like a baby!  God is so awesome!!  I think what made this time different is that I'm equipped now with how to think about things from going to counseling a while back.  My counselor is amazing and really taught me how to think about things.  Also I went to God and asked Him to show me what was going on.  Usually I try to fix it myself.  I ask others what to do or I go to the internet.  This time I didn't ask anybody but God.  It took a while.  But He showed me and set me free!  Don't take your testimony for granted.  I'm so thankful for this and excited about my new freedom!  Second thing is that we've been worrying about a few things lately.  Not going to go into detail about that one but God has totally shown up and taken care of a huge thing!  Totally out of the blue.  I was just sitting here thinking about how He always knows what's going on and He is in control of everything.  The blessing we received came from His hands.  Not ours.  We didn't make it happen.  It made me happy because He is just like an earthly father.  But a whole better. ;)  We were needing help and He came to the rescue.  Goodness!  I just love God.  Tonight is a good night!   He loves us so much!