Free From Shame

Today I read Isaiah 54. God has spoken to me through this chapter lots of times and in different areas of my life. What I remembered today was verses 7-10. "For a brief moment I forsook you, but with with great compassion and mercy I will gather you (to Me) again. In a little burst of wrath I hid My face from you for a moment, but with age-enduring love and kindness I will have compassion and mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer. For this is like the days of Noah to Me; as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I will not be angry with you or rebuke you. For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you."
This is what God spoke to me when I came back to Him after 4 or so years of running from Him. I did wrong things, bad things in His eyes and I ran from Him. But when I decided to follow the tugging on my heart from Him and come back to Him He opened His arms wide open for me. He also spoke verse 4 to me. "Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not (seriously) remember the reproach of your widowhood any more."
He will remove your shame and dishonor so that we won't remember it anymore. I do remember some of the things I've done but I know that God does not. And I know that it is a part of my past the He has cleansed me from. We don't have to be rooted in shame. We can be free from it. This has been a big deal in my life lately. I've been learning to push past these feelings of shame. Claim what God promises us with me and let us walk with Him into freedom! He loves us so much, no matter what we've done.

Struggles

I've been struggling some lately. Feeling things I haven't felt in a long time. Insecurity, anxiety with some other things. I know it's hard to come out of the funk when it feels so strong. I've started by reading some verses on how I've been feeling and listening to worship music. It's helped me a lot this morning! Although I still feel a little bit funky I feel much better. God comes to us when we seek Him and call for Him. He won't ever leave us. He's close to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit. Speak His name out loud, seek Him, listen to music that ministers to your soul and get some exercise. Exercise does really help. I think in some way it is spiritual just like sleep! I forgot sleep. Get sleep! We are not in our right minds when we are really tired. This song by Misty Edwards has ministered a lot to me this morning. Listen to it and let is refresh your spirit. Search in Youtube Misty Edwards Only a shadow. I couldn't get a link to work. Sorry. I love God! He is so awesome!

Living on the Illuminated Word of God

So as I was trying to read the Bible today I was convicted of something. God speaks mostly to me through reading books. He gives me new things that are just for me but when I try to read God's Word I can't really get those new and fresh ideas. I realized I was living a lot on regurgitated food (things God gave people as fresh and new and then they give it to other people). Which is fine but I need to also be getting fresh stuff straight from God. I remember reading in The Bait of Satan by John Bevere about living on the illuminating Word of God. Which is what God shows you through His word. The revelation He shows you. So short and sweet make sure you are getting some fresh wisdom from God's Word and not just from what other people are telling you. Don't get me wrong I loved reading books and that's I learn mostly just don't let that be all you learn from.

Light The Night Walk For Maeci

My Thoughts On Being Mean

I've always had a strong conviction about not being mean to people even jokingly.  I know what it feels like to be made fun of and to get your feelings hurt by someone that was just joking but you had a bad day or your emotions were on the fringe at the time.  I think you should always be building people up.  I've been studying up on verses that talk about stuff like this.  A couple are Ephesians 4:29-32 and Ephesians 5:1-7  I think their is some other ones but I haven't found them yet.  I keep having certain lines run through my head like their is another verse but I can't remember it at all.  I encourage you to do your own study about it and to look up these verses.  They hit points about not saying bad things to people but building people up.  Also things to put away from you, things that aren't fitting for us as saints.  New King James version is good but The Message and New English Contemporary is good too.  Those kind of say it more in a modern way.  That's just what is on my heart this morning.  Building people up and helping them instead of being rude and mean even in a joking way.  Let us always be a help to someone.

Offense

I have been reading John Bevere's book The Bait of Satan.http://www.amazon.com/Bait-Satan-Anniversary-Devotional-Supplement/dp/159185413X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314711279&sr=8-1  This book has been opening my eyes to so much stuff!  It has humbled me greatly.  I really encourage everyone to read this!  I want to quote some things out of it for you.  The book talks about Joseph being sold as a slave by his brothers.  His family!  And then being put in prison for something he didn't do.  He really was treated  unfairly.  He had a great attitude through all of it though.  He became 2nd in command only under pharaoh.  Their was a famine and his family came to Egypt to get food and Joseph so could have gotten revenge.  But he was nice to them and gave them the best in the land.  Also David was hunted down by Saul.  His leader and father in his eyes.  Twice David could have killed Saul and chose not to.  He became king later.  But he allowed God to defend him.  He didn't defend himself.  John Bevere points out that in Joseph's story that Joseph said "But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.  For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting.  And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.  So now it was not you who sent me here, but God." Genesis 45:5-8  Also Psalm 105:16-17 "Moreover He (God) called for a famine in the land; He destroyed all the provision of bread.  He sent a man before them-Joseph-who was sold as a slave."  Wow! So this is saying God sent him!  God knew what was going to happen to Joseph and David after all the things they went through.    The book states after a long discussion on these stories and many others this.  Nothing can get you out of the will of God! Only you can.  By your attitude.  The book also makes the point that if Joseph was let out of prison and he had bitterness and offense and killed his brothers he would have killed the heads of the tribes of Israel.  One being the lineage of Christ! Whoa!  That is just amazing!  Ok so the book also says Many people have been serving the Lord fervently and have come into difficult life situations because of being mistreated by either wicked men or or carnal Christians.  The truth is that they have been treated unjustly.  But to become offended would only fulfill the enemy's purpose of getting them out of the will of God.  If you stay free from offense you will stay in God's will.  If you become offended you will be taken captive by the enemy to fulfill his own purpose and will.  Take your pick.  It is much more beneficial to stay free from offense.  I have a problem with offense.  I get offended easily sometimes.  So reading all of this and much more stuff I have had a new desire set in my heart by God to not be easily offended.  I want to pursue peace.  I want to have the right attitude even if I have been mistreated or if I just think I've been mistreated when I really haven't.  That can happen too! I don't want to give God's will over to satan.  I want to stay in God's will.  Only You can get out of God's will by your choices.  I urge you not to become easily offended.  I know it's hard.  I hope this has helped someone.  Those were just a few things that stuck out to me a lot.  God wants us to live at peace with each other.  God is so good you guys!  And He wants to love you so much!

God's Love

A song I've been worshiping to this morning has summed up my feelings today.  Hillsong United's King of All Days.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-pgiUt9eUA  Without God my world does slip away and I'm so glad He gave me another chance.  I've been trying to dive deeper into Him and His love for me.  I'm so glad He longs for me.  He longs for everyone more than anyone can long for Him.  We can lay our burdens at His his feet.  Walk with Him today.  Let His love cover you and all you've done.  I love Jesus so much!  He is so awesome!!  What got me in this thankful mood to start with was just thinking about what He did this weekend.  One thing was He blessed us majorly with our car.  It died. Then we got it to the Toyota dealer for free and it ended up being a recall part that cost a lot of money.  But since it was a recall it was  a free fix! We had it fixed by Monday morning early!!   He takes care of us!! God is good!

Music

Ok I feel like I need to post again. :)  I just finished reading another chapter of The Bondage Breaker and something really spoke to me.  This is going to be a lot so bare with me.  Here is the excerpt from the book.  This is the easiest way I know how to explain.  It just got through talking about the evil spirit from the LORD terrorizing King Saul after the Spirit of God departing from him.  Here is what the book says - It is interesting to note that whenever the evil spirit came upon Saul, David (the heir apparent to Israel's throne) would play his harp and the evil spirit would depart (1 Samuel 16:23).  How pathetically unaware we are of the biblical prominence of music in the spiritual realm!  When Elisha was about to inquire of God, he said, "Now bring me a minstrel.  And it came about, when the minstrel played, that the hand of the LORD came upon him" (2 Kings 3:15).  During the reign of David, over 4000 musicians were assigned to sing in the temple night and day (1 Chronicles 9:33; 23:5).  It is the mark of Spirit-filled Christians to sing and make melody in their hearts to the Lord and speak to each other in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:18-20).  Ok that's the end of the piece in the book.  This spoke to my heart.  I use to listen to worship music all the time and the last year or so I haven't a lot.  Just a few minutes ago I decided to turn on some worship music and pray.  When I turned it on I instantly felt different.  I instantly felt a connection to God.  That's why I decided to share this with you.  I'm not attacking anyone that listens to secular music.  There are some good songs out there that have nothing to do with God but are good clean music.  Just please take advantage of worship music helping you in your walk with God and guard your heart from things that may hurt your walk with Him.  God is so amazing in giving us His wisdom.  I love how He speaks even through books you read.

Good Book!

Ok I've been reading this book by Neil Anderson called The Bondage Breaker.  It's absolutely amazing!  It has helped me realize who I am in God, how we are to operate as Christians, being aware of the spiritual realm, and also things that hinder you from God's best.  Like unforgiveness  hindering God's blessings in your lives or keeping you from moving forward.  The book also goes into detail about how certain physical or mental things may be spiritual attacks.  If you have been struggling  with any of this stuff read this book!  I'm only half way through and it has been such a help.  At the end it has steps to freedom in Christ to help become free!  Hopefully this book will help you like it has helped me!

Trust

I learned something the other day and it didn't sink in until this today.  I have some trust issues going on.  I get defensive, angry and doubtful sometimes.  I only FEEL like I have trust issues with people.  But I read something that said if you don't trust people or yourself you don't trust God.  Because God directs you and guides you.  He takes care of you.  Today that clicked for me.  I have no clue why it just clicked today, my mind is like that.  All of a sudden things just click for no apparent reason.  :)  So now I am pursuing a deep relationship with God and asking Him to bring my defenses down and help me receive His love.  Also I had no idea I didn't trust God.  I felt like I trusted Him.  But that shows me something else I learned recently.  That feelings are fickle and they will lie to you.  In this instance my feelings told me I trusted God when I didn't.  They can also tell me that I can't trust myself or people in my life...I know this is a lie.  You have to do what you need to do by faith and not by your feelings.  I read today in a Joyce Meyer book that you don't have to feel like you can do something in order to do it.  You can say I trust God or whoever even if you don't feel like it.  Or I forgive this person even if you don't FEEL like it.  Your feelings will follow later.  Just keep saying it and doing it.  Today God gave this verse to remember throughout the day. It's Proverbs 3:5  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Joyce Meyer has it said like this....short and sweet statement that you can say out loud when you find yourself losing trust or worrying.  Proverbs 3:5 I trust God completely; there is no need to worry.  Please say this out loud....it really does help.

The Confident Woman

I started reading a book by Joyce Meyer called The Confident Woman.  My cousins in California and I are reading it together and discussing it each week on facebook.  Which I am really excited about!  I've only read the first section of the first chapter and so much jumped out to me.  First it says that she believes confidence is all about being positive concerning what you can do - and not worrying over what you can't do.  She mentions that confident people do not concentrate on their weaknesses; they develop and maximize their strengths.  As soon as I read that the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to how I was living.  I always focus on my weaknesses!  I buy books to fix my weaknesses!  I realized I don't know any of my strengths.  Here is an example that was in the book.  You can be a 3 at something and try to fix it so it can move to a 5.  But you have a strength that is an 8 that you could make a 10.  I try to fix the 3! And totally ignore the 8!  One more thing that I realized that is very important in being confident.  Our confidence must be in Christ alone, not in ourselves or other people.  That set me free to be confident!  I mean I've heard all my life to be confident in Christ but this time I heard it I really let it sink in and it clicked.  I've had troubles being confident because I've been so beat down and have had such low self esteem that I thought anything good about myself I was being prideful.  So this new perspective and being confident because your confident in Jesus was very eye opening and freeing!  Hopefully this has helped you some today.  God is doing amazing things in my life right now!  Freeing and healing are just a couple big things!  If you are struggling with anything just know that Jesus is there waiting on you to reach out to Him.  :)

A Hard Yet Successful Morning

So this morning has been really rough.  I usually spend time with God after I piddle on the computer and eat breakfast but today I started updating my checkbook.  Everything was getting on my nerves!  Our puppy was going crazy and chewing on everything and going potty in the house.  The apartment is filthy because I haven't had time to clean it.  I was even getting mad at my husband on the phone.  Now usually when I get like this my emotions take over and I'm angry or in a bad mood for a little while.  But I had a breakthrough this time!!  All of a sudden my mind clicked and I started to journal my thoughts and prayers.  I started feeling a little better. Also our puppy calmed down and when they are sweet puppies they just melt your heart so that helped.  :)  I asked God what I should do.  He told me to finish reading my book called "12 Power Thoughts" by Joyce Meyer.  The chapter I was on was called "Put God First".  It talked about when you give God the first part of your day, or other firsts too, then everything after that will be blessed and productive.  Now I've been struggling with this whole spend time with God first thing in the morning.  I use to do it because that's what you were suppose to do.  I could never connect it with His love.  After I read that this morning though it clicked.  I don't need to spend time with God first thing in the morning because it's what I need to do or because ohhh I'll have a bad day if I don't.  But I need to do it because I need Him.  I need His strength and peace.  Because I will go crazy if I don't.  :)  And everything will get on my nerves.  But now the connection is different.  I have connected it with love instead of just do it or you'll go crazy.  I will go crazy but now the I need Him is there.  :)  Sooo, today has been a success!  I moved past my emotions quickly through God's help and learned that I need His love at the beginning of the day.  I hope this helps someone.  I know when I read stuff like this it encourages me.  Also, the same thing goes with your finances, your attention and anything else!  I'll leave you with a quote from Joyce Meyer's book 12 Power Thoughts.  "God is a creator, not a consumer.  Everything we have comes from Him; He simply asks for the first portion of it back- not because He needs it, but because we need to give it to keep ourselves mindful of the fact that He is preeminent in our lives.  Nothing we offer to Him is ever lost; instead it can be multiplied because we put it in His hands."

Starting out

I'm starting this blog to write about encouraging things in my life that I'm learning from God and that will hopefully be encouraging to you too.  Also there will be updates on my life for my family and friends that are so far away.  Hopefully this will be a blessing to you!